How To Be a True Adult

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Being an adult is some pretty serious stuff. Let’s face it, there are some who are physically adult, but the mental part is off because they act like a bunch of kids in kindergarten. I know, I find it amusing to watch as well! 

Okay, so you came here to see how to be an adult, right? Got it. Let’s begin. 

Oh…well, you must know that there are many facets of being an adult. I won’t be able to cover them all here at once, but I’ll cover one of them.

1 Don’t be a people pleaser.

My grandmother used to say this: You will never keep people happy. So just make sure you please the only person that matters, and that person is God. 

She was right.

People will always have something to say. If you didn’t do it, they will be mad because you did not do it. And if you had done it, they would still be mad because you did do it. So here’s what you do: just take your pick. Do what you believe is right, people will be mad anyways. Hahaha! 😂

Bottom line is this: don’t argue like a bunch of spoiled kids. They might be wrong and you might be in the right reason, but you have to be the bigger person. You probably might have to apologize when you did nothing wrong, but if it will keep the peace, why not do it? Why not be a peacemaker? 

I Can’t Believe It, But I Said YES!

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I’m so excited about today! How do they say it? Hmmm, over the moon and stars happy? Lol! Yeah, that can describe it.

I’m happy that you and I have made it to the engagement phase!! Yeah, so I’ll be expecting my wedding invitation. And I also hope to say a few words at your wedding.

But here is the bad news: I know nothing about being engaged, so it seems you are on your own on this one.

Hahaha! JK! 😛 I still have things to say, so sit down, be quiet and keep reading.

ENGAGEMENT 

So, let me begin by saying that I imagine being engaged is just pure happiness. ❤ Having all those beautifully mixed emotions as you look at the man/woman who will very soon be your husband/wife. 🙂

Here are some things to keep in mind all the time:

1 Self-Control

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Sure, you are now engaged, and may have more physical privileges like hugging, kisses in the cheek or forehead, or holding hands; but respect each other and abide by the rules that you both have put up in order to protect each others thoughts and purity.

2 Pray Together

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This is something that should be practiced during courtship and marriage. I just think that praying along with the person that you love is just priceless.

3 Communicate

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Listen up guys! There is nothing more frustrating to us girls than to have a man who has a mouth, but does not communicate with us; and yet they expect to hear every little detail from us. Sure, we get to the bottom of things, and we probably already know things, but we always want to hear it from YOU.

4 Little Things Matter

You really don’t have to get us this huge overly expensive gift. For us girls, and guys too I think, sincere gifts from the heart are the ones that matter.

5 Visit!

Visit her family more often. Her/his family will very soon be yours, so they better like you or else you are doomed. No pressure! 😛 haha!

6 Be Yourself 

I know I just mentioned this now, but it is very important in the friends and courtship stage as well. Don’t give him/her a different image of who you are. If you cannot be yourself with this person, why are you going to marry them?? Later in married life, you will get tired of pretending, and what if he/she does not like the real  you?

7 Honesty

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Listen girls, this one is for you. Look, if your boyfriend can tell you to your face that your hair looks scary,and that those shoes make you look like a cat with a thorn on its paw, then he’s a keeper! You both have to be so comfortable with telling each other the truth straight on.

8 Trust

All through the friends and courtship stage, you have seen how amazing and trustworthy this person is. So in the engagement stage, all this will only be confirmed and reinforced. You will trust him/her to be faithful and loyal to you. And listen, when you truly love someone, a million models can coming knocking on your door, but you will only have eyes for your man/lady.

9 Keep Your Mouth Shut 

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This goes both to guys and girls, okay. Learn to keep secrets. If your man/girl confides in you something, there is no need for it to be heard all the way to the North Pole.

10 Boiling Water

And finally, do you know how to boil water in order to make tea or soup?

There is nothing worse than eating a cold peanut butter and jelly sandwich when you are sick. Unless, of course, it’s summer…then yes, that PB&J  would be nice. 😛 Lol! 

FYI This is how boiling water looks like 😛

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Christian Dating 101

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Friday, September 16, 2016

Advisory: Eligibility for Marriage Undergraduate Class. 

Prerequisite: Completion of Home Duties 101 and/or concurrent enrollment in Responsibility Course 102.

Age Requirement: 20 years or older

*Absolutely no crashing allowed in this class.

Student Learning Outcome (SLO)

  • Guarding of heart and feelings
  • Dangers of physical contact

Welcome to Christian Dating 101. My name is Professor Heidi Alonso, so let’s get started. Remember that there is no such thing as a dumb question here, so please ask away.

Let’s begin with the logics. What is dating? What is courtship? Any ideas?

Well, dating happens when one person goes out with several people in hopes of finding that one special person. And as you might well be aware of–because most of you have done it–many just date for fun. They don’t care if they play with people’s feelings, because they are not serious.

Now courting. What is the difference of it? Here is the definition given by J.D.

“Courting is the sincere effort of two persons who are finding if it is God’s will for them to be married.”

So yes, of course, courtship is one step closer to marriage. So you will obviously enter into a courtship with a wedding in mind. That is the whole purpose. And now, if you followed all the previous steps prior to this class, then there is a pretty good chance that the person you are courting ( or will court) will be your future spouse. Of course, it might not always work out. That is why you should guard your heart.

And what do I mean by that?

I mean that you should not give pieces of your heart away to just anyone. Don’t go around saying you love such said person out of emotion or mere impulse, because you will regret it later. As time passes, you will realize that you did not really love that person, or you will see that that person was not for you, and you will wish to turn back time in order to recover those words you told them.

And consider this: Wouldn’t it be so special to share those words for the first time with the person who will be your spouse?

Another point that I want to bring out, is the age requirement in order to even enter a courtship. As a rule of thumb, if you are still in your teens, you should be focusing on solving your algebra homework and feeding your pet fish instead of trying to enter this class.

As for you, my dear students in your twenties, please be careful when thinking to enter in a relationship with teenager students in the elementary classes. Teenagers do not really know who they are, or even what they want, because they change their mind so very often. One day they might wake up and decide they want to be a firefighter, but then later on they will announce they will be a brain surgeon.

Take me for example. In my teenage years, I was going back and forth between being a cook, a writer, a poet and songwriter. All survived except for poetry. Let me come up with something so you can see why I kissed poetry bye-bye.

The sky is so blue

Don’t you think so too?

Is it not nice,

To look at the sky

While eating a plate of rice?

You see what I mean? Like they say, I cannot write poetry to save my soul. But you get what I mean, right? You realize that if you court at such young age, or if you decide to court another young person, then your relationship will be ruined because of your/their immaturity. Either you, or that person, will still be figuring out who they are or what they want, and then later they will decide they don’t like you any more because you have green eyes or because of your personality. Bottom line is that you or they will keep changing their minds because at that stage, both of you are still developing emotionally.

To conclude, let’s talk about…yup, the physical stuff like kissing, touching and hugging.

Let’s start with the 00:00:05 second rule. 

Okay, get out your paper and pencils, write this down and frame it on your bedroom because it will be on the final test: I will not touch anybody for more than 5 seconds.

You got it? Good! You are such great students! I’m so proud of you. 😀

Okay, moving on.

Why should you not touch people? Well, first off, they don’t belong to you, and unless you have the key of marriage, you won’t be able to get them out the glass box they are in. Of course, I am not saying that kissing, touching or hugging is wrong. Not at all. It is wrong when you do that before marriage, because then it will lead to other things which you will later regret.

But that does not mean that if you are in an official courtship you can’t hug or hold hands. You understand that when you court, you are almost sure you are going to marry the person. And therefore, not court willy nilly. The physical contact is really up to the couple to decide, and they should put their physical boundaries. This might differ from couple to couple, since some individuals might need more restraint than others. However, it is scientifically proven how kissing affects the relationship. It is definitely a blessing within the circle of marriage, but outside of marriage it will affect both, or one of the parties involved in case the relationship does not work. Therefore, causing the breakup to be more painful since there will be physical and emotional losses involved.

So to end, please jot down these questions in your notebook for this class and turn them in for homework next time.

Wouldn’t it be special to share your first kiss with your husband/wife?

Do you think it will be nice to save all your love for your spouse?

Is it not purity the best and most beautiful gift you can give to your future spouse?

Okay, don’t forget to review for the upcoming test.

Class dismissed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Think I Found The One!! :D

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Friday, September 9, 2016

Dear Diary,

So what do I do now? What do I do if I think I have found a man who can potentially put up with me for the rest of my life? Do I like say something? Or like give him a hint?

Okay, okay–let me clarify. Those questions are just an example of the questions girls might have. It does not mean that I have them now. I might later; ya’ never know. 😛 Lol! But well, leave me out of the picture for now; let’s talk about step #4.

STEP #4: Observe, Seek Counsel, Be Wise, Be Friends

A) OBSERVE

Hmmm…so what exactly do we look at? What do we observe? Face, eyes, smile? Ehhh…nope.

If you think you have found the right girl/guy, then you should be observing other things. Of course, physical attraction should be there, but it should not be your main focus. You have to dissect that persons behavior. I mean, this is a person who could potentially be your future spouse, so then of course you want to know who they really are, right?

  • How does this person behave?
  • How does she/he treat her/his parents?
  • Is she’he respectful?
  • Is she/he helpful without being asked?
  • How does she/he behave when her/his parents are not around? Does she/he behave differently?
  • How does she/he behave around the company of other young people?
  • How do they treat the opposite sex? Do they have self-respect?

Open your eyes and observe well without making your interest known to that person as of yet. That way, you will be able to see the true colors of the person you got your eyes on.

B) SEEK COUNSEL

Yes, unless you are some kind of super genius and mind-reader ( jk mind-reading does not exist), then you will need advice from someone who is not emotionally involved and hence, has a clear mind than you do at the present moment. Because later, you will be like, “Ohhhhhh, I see now!”

And so where do you get that counsel from?

  1. God and His word
  2. God-fearing parents
  3. Older men and women of experience

Tip: Visit the church of the person you are interested in. That way, you can see how that person interacts in their home church. 

Girls DON’T READ, this is ONLY for the guys eyes: I once listened to a sermon that was about courtship and all that cool stuff. And what this person said has truth to it. He was saying how you should seek counsel with the parents of the girl. Let your intentions be known to them because they deserve to know. You have to realize that the girl belongs to her parents, and if you go on trying to win her affections without their permission, wouldn’t that be considered stealing?

Something to think about, guys.

C) BE WISE

Be logical when it comes to these matters. Think ahead. You can think clearly now, when there are not too much emotional attachments from your part.

D) BE FRIENDS

If you cannot be friends now, then how will your marriage work if you do marry that person later on? Your future spouse should be your best friend, right? So I think it is very important to be friends at first, and get some answers to your questions.

  • Do you both get along well?
  • If you fight all the time, what makes you think that married life will be pure bliss?
  • How does this person react in different situations?
  • Can you both work as a team and enjoy yourselves?
  • Is there that connection between the two of you?
  • Do you feel at home in her/his social circle?
  • Do you enjoy being around her/his friends?

And well, those are some of the many questions to be asked. Now, let’s talk about Facebook and chatting, and all that stuff.

*drum roll*

Yeah, I know, I know…this is a very tricky and controversial subject to many people. Just how much is too much on social media? Does it matter how often you chat with a girl/guy?

Well, it’s obvious that if you chat every single day, then there is something going on.

Listen, everyone has their own interpretations on this matter of Facebook and chatting. But let me tell you this: Be careful that you don’t toy with peoples emotions and feelings. If you are not interested in someone, then don’t act as if you do.

Be careful. That is all I will say, the rest is up to you. 🙂

 

 

Where is My Prince Charming?

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Friday, September 2, 2016

Dear Diary,

You really want to know something? I don’t want a Prince Charming who will charm me. A prince whose lips drop as honey comb and whose mouth is smoother than oil; but then later on I will end up drinking wormwood tea instead of a sweet cup of chamomile.

So yeah, I do hope this Prince Charming never crosses my path.

Anyways, let’s talk a little more on this subject: on finding the right person, and not just Prince Charming.

STEP #3: Whom Shall I Marry?

Wow, okay, so now that you know that you are ready, you want to know who is going to put up with you for the rest of your living days.

So what do you ask next?

Where is my Prince Charming, and my tall-dark-and-handsome? Hmm, not exactly. The next question you should ask is this: who does God have for me?

And well, after all we have discussed so far, I hope that you have well grounded in your brain the fact that you cannot choose for yourself. Sure, the people will tell you to follow your heart, but on the other hand, God says that our heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. So, who will you follow, God or your wicked heart? Think about that.

And of course, there are other questions to consider. One of those many questions is this: Are you being the kind of person you are looking for? If you are looking for an honest person, are you honest? Are you a spiritual person?

You know, I once heard of a true story of a guy who had his dream girl all planned out. Time passed, and he did find her eventually. He told this girl about his feelings and how she was his perfect girl, but then the girl told him that he was not the perfect man for her.

Ouch! Poor guy! But it’s true, you know. Many times we get so caught up in daydreaming and planning our perfect person, that we forget about perfecting ourselves to the best we can for that person. Here is where true love is especially manifested in our willingness to change our defects of character, even if we don’t have the girl/guy, and even if we don’t even know who they are. Because I mean, if you are in love, you can easily promise to be saint #1.

But always remember that God will choose for you. Better said, you have to let God choose for you, because He will never force you.

Did Adam choose Eve? No.

Did Isaac choose his wife? No.

Did Samson choose his wife? Aha! Yes, he did. He said that Delilah pleased his eyes, and we all know what happened to his eyes later on. Don’t let that happen to you.

Many people just look at the physical part, but that should really be the last in your list. Character is the one to be focused on. This person you look for should complement you. You should have common interests and goals. Someone that you can work together with and enjoy it. Of course, you can’t find the same exact person as you, or else you will go crazy because if you both hate spiders, who will kill them for you? And if you are complete opposites, and hence have different tastes in music, then riding in the car with that person is going to be a pain in your ears.

I’m pretty sure that you can see that there needs to be a balance. And only God, along with your parents, can figure that out. God made you and He knows who will make you happy, and your parents know you more than you do yourself.

You also have to remember that your parents were given to you by God, and He will many times speaks to us through our god-fearing parents. And to end, I will give you the key that works pretty much for everything: PRAY WITHOUT CEASING.

Prayer does work, my friend. 🙂

 

 

Are You Ready?

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Friday, August 26, 2016

Dear Diary,

Here is step number two! I really learned a lot as I wrote and researched this topic. The two examples I used here in this article I got from Jeremiah Davis. He has some really awesome videos on YouTube. 🙂 

 

STEP #2 Am I Ready For Marriage? 

Okay, so now that you know you are to get married, this is the question you should ask. God might want you to get married, but before that happens, you might need a couple years of intense marriage training. No kidding.

Take a look at this example: A banana. They are very delicious, right? It’s a banana alright, and it is destined to be eaten and digested by a body of a human–or monkey. They are sweet and good, but what happens when they are eaten before they are ripe? Yeah, they don’t taste good and they leave a bad aftertaste, right? Well, the same principle goes for marriage. You might be married some day, but right now you might be sour and bitter–and so not ripe.

So, still the question remains: How do you know if you are ready?

Well, to answer this question, lets talk about a car. Now, I don’t know much about cars or brands, but I do know they have four wheels and two pedals: the gas and the brakes. So lets focus on the pedals for now.

Love=gas pedal     Self-Control=brakes

A good driver knows how to balance those two pedals. Therefore, you know you are ready for marriage if you can balance love and self-control.

How is love manifested?

“If you love me, keep my commandments”. So yes, love is manifested through willing obedience. Doing what we are asked to do, and even doing things without being asked. In married life, I don’t think your husband will be your walking chore-list telling and reminding you what has to be done; unless of course you have a very nice mother-in-law, then that would be very possible. Brace yourself! 😛 LOL!

And lastly, love is manifested through responsibility. Is the young man ready to be a spiritual leader in his home? Is he ready to provide? And for the ladies, are you ready to run a household all by yourself? Are you ready to raise children? Are you even ready emotionally? Listen, I don’t know nothing about marriage, but I’m pretty sure forgiveness is involved.

If a person is not responsible while living at their parents house, what makes you think that person will be ready for a home of their own?

Okay, so what about self-control? Well, self-control simply means that you are able to control yourself: your appetite, your emotions, your passions and everything else.

You know, I could really write so much more, but I don’t want to tire you, and plus I’m hungry and I need my dinner. Lol

So to end, let me ask you a question: how do you envision married life to be?

Do you imagine waking up to breakfast in bed, along with a rose and a love note? And for the guys, do you feel a sense of relief knowing that clean socks will magically appear in your drawer every morning, and that lunch will be waiting in the fridge with a love note?

Well, if that is what you envision married life to be, then you need some 10 years of preparation.

I think that married life is about making that other person happy, and of serving that person you love. You won’t think of what’s in it for you, but you will constantly seek to please that other person.

Now, I’m not saying that love notes and clean underwear are wrong. No, not at all. All I am trying to say is that if one envisions married life in a selfish way, then when one gets married, it will not work out.

That is what I think. If I am wrong, then I hope a married person corrects me.

Thanks for reading! 🙂

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In a Relationship With…

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Friday, August 12, 2016

Dear Diary,

Did you think I was in a relationship? Lol! Nope, not at all. Well, I am-but we will talk about that later. 🙂 I just chose this title because everyone is familiar with it, and you know what it means. Okay, on with the writing.

You know, dinnertime at my house is really something. It’s that time of the day when my whole family gets together to enjoy each others company and the food as well, even if it tastes a little weird ( I mean, there have been times where I don’t know how to make my food disappear). Anyways, during dinnertime a lot of things happen: we talk about what happened during the day, someone might get scolded for not doing some work they had to do, we laugh when my brother tries to guess who made the food, we talk about church events or just plain local church planning, I might 99% of the time tease my brother about something; if someone is sick, my Dad and I talk about natural remedies or share our latest discoveries, and my favorite is when my Dad gives us older siblings advice on certain topics.

And well, for the past three days, my Dad has been giving us advice on the subject of relationships–you know, guys and girls, and Facebook chatting and all that drama. I thought about this long, and I really felt impressed to share all the advice my Dad has given me. I know that there might be some of you who were not blessed with godly parents, and so this might be of some help to you. So here it goes.

#1 EVERYTHING HAS A SEASON

Once we were children (blessed stage of life! I wish I could go back), but now we are young adults. With it comes many changes to our bodies, new weird feelings, urges and–well, you know what I mean. No need for me to explain this area.

But sometimes, as my Dad says, one tends to rush everything, especially when it comes to relationships. One should really take it easy. Relationships and courting are serious issues. One should really know the other persons character. Know how that person reacts in various situations. Take this scenario for example: suppose you are a girl and you have your guy whom you love very much. But you want to know how he reacts when he is mad, because so far he is as happy and sweet as cotton candy. And suppose you hire some stranger to break an egg on his head. How will he react? Will he scream and be like, “You are going to pay for this!”, or will he be like, “Hey thanks! My hair will really start growing faster now!” (By the way, egg does make your hair grow faster, but I’ll not get into that Lol!)

Always remember that good looks and a good body will go away pretty soon unless, of course, you make your future spouse sign a contract to go to the gym three times per week or something. Character is what remains. And you have to ask yourself if you are willing to live with such a character for the rest of your living days. That is the reason why it is very wise for two persons to be just and ONLY friends before anything happens.That way you can really know that persons character without them trying to put our only their pretty side. You really want to get to know ‘the good, the bad and the ugly’. And well, if after some long time of being friends you realize that you have feelings for such said person, and you know that your parents approve, and you are sure that God is leading in that direction, then, by all means, take it to the next level.

So yeah, don’t rush things. And don’t feel alone when it seems that the whole world around you is in relationships, and getting engaged and married. God has the right person for you out there–somewhere. You just have to be patient and wait on the Lord.

#2 ONLY TIME WILL TELL

Yup, when it comes to relationships, time is your best friend. Time reveals many things: character, secrets, lies, true love, intentions, motives–you name it!

Here is a little advice for you my fellow girls. My parents always tell me this: “If the guy really cares about you, and has true motives/intentions/feelings, he will respect and wait and not rush things. He will get to know you well, and us too.”

#3 DON’T BE TOO TRUSTING, BUT NOT TOO UN-TRUSTING EITHER

I know this to be very true. Do not be too trusting, but still that does not mean that you are going to live with a  constant senseless fear of “oh my goodness, he is going to cheat on me”, or “I refuse to trust men ever again.” No. It simply means that one should have a little space reserved for the bad. In other words, be prepared for the worse. One should be aware that things might not work out, that humans are humans and will hence make mistakes. If one is well aware of this, and it happens that things do not work out, then you will not be severely broken. You know, I have heard of cases of people attempting suicide because of a broken heart.

#4 LISTEN

*sigh* Listening. This is probably the last thing we do, and in reality it should be the first. We have to listen to counsel and not stuff our ears with artificial earwax. We might think that we are some cool geniuses on life experience, but in reality we are just children who are in need of direction.

So yeah, all of us single people, and also to those who are in relationships or engaged, let’s put on our thinking caps and listen to all the counsel and advice we can get our hands on, and not end up making wrong choices that we will regret for the rest of our lives.

So let’s finish writing the title, shall we.

In a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Yes, that is the person you should be in a relationship with before you even think on courtship or marriage.