“Lord, I Love Him. Why Can’t I Have Him?”

Standard

“Lord, you know I really love him. I believe he is the one. Why can’t I have him??”

“But Dad/Mom, what’s so wrong with him? I’m happy with him. Doesn’t my happiness matter to you guys anymore?” 

“Why is it that the guy I really like is exactly the one that seems impossible to have?” 

Sound familiar? 

Maybe you have heard some young people say this, or…yourself? 

Well, I got the idea for this topic the other day when I was talking to a good friend of mine. We were sharing our views on choice making, relationships, and on how many times we misinterpret God.

…yes, it is possible to misinterpret God. For example, take a look at this scenario: 

Let’s suppose you like this guy, or girl, so much. But here’s the deal: your parents don’t approve at all. And somewhere in the back of your head, you know God would not approve either. But being the amazingly stubborn person that you are, you still go to God and beg and complain. It then happens that God gets fed up, and so He says, “Okay. Fine. You can have him/her.” And then you are like, “Oh my goodness! God answered my prayer! I knew this guy was the one!” But the truth is that God is giving you what you want not because it is His will, but because you will only learn by suffering the consequences. 

Listen, when it comes to relationships, making life choices and pretty much everything, you NEED to come to God with a clean bowl. Don’t bring your choice of flour or oil. Just bring your clean bowl and allow God to give you the ingredients and utensils to make the perfect cake. 🎂 

“Trust in the lord with all thine heart,

And lean not to thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge Him,

And He shall direct thy paths.” 

The Relationship I NEVER Expected

Standard

During this week, I heard one person say that the best and lasting relationship is the one you never expected.

Do you think this is true?

I honestly have been thinking about this a lot, and so I decided to ask several of my friends about their opinion on this matter. (Later when I get more responses, I will edit in their opinions.)

Image result for love

 “Yes I do think that it’s best when you are not really looking for a relationship…there is something about providence being involved in a relationship that makes it that much better, as it keeps you on the edge of your seat because–generally speaking–we pray for God’s will to be done, so that means we have to be aware of what is taking place around us at all times because we want to make sure that God is leading in our relationships…I do think that it is better to have an unexpected encounter than to have one where you are “looking for” or expecting to be in a relationship…many times we make a mistake in using to much of our strength and time in looking to be in that “perfect” relationship.” S.G

“God is always in control of the future, and His plans are not always our plans. So yes, a relationship you never expected is the best one.” R.D

“I don’t see any connection with the best and longest relationships having anything to do with us expecting them or not. But I’d say our best relationships are the ones that God unites together. Sometimes we expect it sometimes we don’t.” Enoch Leffingwell

“There are “miracles”, which we know are not “miracles”, they are God’s mighty ways, that we can’t even imagine…” M.B

“I do agree that the relationships that develop spontaneously do end up working out better than those which were planned or pursued. Like the verse says: God’s plans are not your plans. That is what we need to keep in mind when thinking of relationships and other aspects of life.” S.A.J.N

If you’ve had a failed relationship in which you built countless straw castles, then I am pretty sure that you now know that the best relationship is not the one you expected or planned–it will be the one that you gladly accepted as a gift, wrapped in the gift paper of trust in God.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LordFor as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

Image result for unexpected love

 

Are Christians Allowed to Feel Heartbroken? (PART 2)

Standard

HOW DO YOU BUILD TRUST KEEPING WITHIN BIBLICAL STANDARDS? 

You know, even God gives us evidence. He invites us to try Him.

Psalms 34:8 

“O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.” 

And how do we build that relationship with God? By daily communication. You pray, you share and read His word, right?

Now let’s translate that to a relationship.

download

In a relationship, you talk with your special someone, you share your dreams, your likes and dislikes, you get to know one another, and you diligently and quickly read those texts and messages that he/she sends, right?

i-love-you-love-quote-secret-favim-com-526653

And just like with God, that trust is built on evidence and proof. By and by you see how that person is. Things will happen along the way that will allow you to see just how true this person is. And then will come that time when you look at that person and know that it is okay to trust him/her, while still being very aware of the fact that he/she is human, and like you, can make mistakes.

You CANNOT trust a human as you would with God. God is all powerful and will never fail you. Go ahead and name one time in which God failed His promise. He NEVER has, and never will.

Okay, so…

SHOULD CHRISTIANS FEEL HEARTBROKEN? 

crying-girl-wallpaper-6

John 11:35 “Jesus wept.” 

Matthew 27:46 ” And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” 

Jesus did feel heartbroken. He felt heartbroken because of the great love He had for us; for you and me. He could not bear the thought of losing us.

His heartbreak, on the other hand, cannot be compared to the heartbreak that we humans feel. The nature of our heartbreak goes something like this

*I will never trust men ever again because so and so broke my heart

*I am not going to talk to her/him again because he betrayed me, he/she does not deserve to my friend

*He/she does not deserve my ‘hello’

*I hate him/her

*I am going to unfriend him/her, and block him/her from Facebook

Now take a look at how Jesus looks at it:

Zechariah 13:6 “And one shall say unto him, What are these wounds in thine hands? Then he shall answer, Those with which I was wounded in the house of my friends.” 

Revelation 3:20 “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” 

John 15:13 “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” 

Luke 12:7 “But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.” 

Isaiah 54:10 “For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on the” 

Isaiah 49:15-16 ” Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” 

Yes, we can feel heartbroken, we will feel sad and discouraged–we will cry; but we will also be able to forgive and not fall apart because our stronghold is on God.

forgiveness2

 

Matthew 18:21-22 “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” 

 

He/She Broke My Heart

Standard

Heartbroken…

Just how does one avoid being heartbroken?

Well, for starters, if we hear counsel, then we would not be in this jumble of problems in the first place. I know that if you hear counsel, then you will avoid yourself many heartaches—believe me. Your parents are right 99% of the time. And I say 99% because your parents can be wrong about a person too. There are some guys who just seem like saints come down from heaven, but then as time goes on, you and parents really get to see who this Mr. Too-Good-To-Be-True really is; or Miss Too-Good-To-Be-True.

But well, the heartbreak is there now. And you feel like all your world has crashed beneath your feet. Your dreams hold no significance anymore, you try to find a reason to get up from bed, and you literally feel like you are in a place where you don’t know where to go or what to do.

You feel lost without this person in your life.

Well, first thing you have to do is stop thinking about all this hurt. What happened already happened, and it’s past. There is nothing more cruel that you can do to yourself, than to continue living in the past. Leave the past alone, pick up your dreams and look to the future. Why will you drown all your hopes and dreams, all because of a person who did not deserve your love?

Another thing to keep in mind is this: do not go publishing your hurt in Facebook. That will only spark a chain reaction of “oh! So sorry to hear that! 😥 .” And all that will do, is put you down. But in order to avoid that, you should not have made your relationship public in Facebook in the first place. As a rule of thumb, I recommend that you not publish anything until your relationship is like SUPER serious. It’s going to hurt you so much to delete all those pictures in Facebook and…you can imagine.

Also, try to help others; don’t go into a reclusive life in order to mourn your misfortune. As you help others, and make others happy, you will find that your heart will heal. Slowly, that smile will come back to your face, and you will realize that you were put on this world for a very special purpose.

You can also take up a hobby to keep you busy. But please don’t go crazy and decide that skydiving is the best way to forget your troubles.

And well, even after all the tips I have given you, the only person who can really heal your heart is God. As your relationship grows stronger with God, you will see in clear light why that relationship failed, and why you had to go through it. You will realize that the heartbreak will only make you stronger and wiser. The next time another guy/girl comes knocking on your door, you will not so easily fall for their charm.

Just remember this: YOU ARE SPECIAL, and the person that is meant for you is somewhere around there, and he/she will come at the right moment. Don’t accept the first guy/girl that shows interest in you. Of course, there is a possibility that that person might be the right one, but what I’m trying to say is that you SHOULD NOT ENTER A RELATIONSHIP just because you FEEL LONELY.

Your heart will heal. Trust me, it will—slowly but surely.

itm_you-are-special-fb-timeline-covers2014-02-20_09-03-24_1  P.S.

This article was written in response to a request I received from one of my readers in India. This person asked my opinion on how to deal with heartbreak, and so I thought it was a great idea to share this with all of you. 🙂  

Once Upon a Time…Happily Ever After

Standard

Funny how a newlywed will tell you that marriage is amazing and beautiful, and then a couple years later, that selfsame person will beg you to really think before getting involved with a guy.

It has happened to me. Lol!

Truth is that marriage takes work. It will not always be roses and kisses. But working together as a team, supporting and loving each other, and seeking God first– well, it’s going to work out nicely.

So, just to make your life easier, here are some things to keep in mind:

FOR THE GUYS:

1 If the tube of toothpaste has a cap, USE IT. Hardened and dry toothpaste is not cool to use.

2) Put the toilet seat back down after you use it. If your wife falls in the toilet in the night, there is a 99.9% chance that you will be sleeping in the couch for the rest of the night, or nights.

3) NEVER set foot on her wet clean floor. Don’t dirty the floor she just scrubbed, that is if you don’t want to scrub it again, but this time with a toothbrush 😛 Lol!

4) Clean up those pesky little hairs after you shave. It’s annoying when the white bar of soap looks as if it has black sprinkles on it, or brown or blonde. Take your pick. 

5) ALWAYS let your wife know if you are bringing friends or visitors home, that way she has time to cook something. Serving peanut butter and jelly sandwiches is not exactly what we ladies have in mind.

6) When girls are on their monthly cycle, we can be sad, mad, happy, nostalgic and emotional all in the span of one hour. Plus we have to deal with pain and whatnot. So DON’T BE A COWARD and leave your wife alone. Be nice to her. Make her some hot tea and cuddle with her. ❤

7) Most girls take long to get ready. It’s hard for us to decide what to wear, and hairstyle to do; so instead of hollering to your wife at the top of your lungs for her to hurry up, do this the night/day before:

You: Hey sweetheart, do you think the yellow tie goes with this?

Her: White shirt, black pants and yellow tie? Honey, are you tying to go for the bumblebee look?

You: *laughing* What do you suggest then?

Her: Hmmm…let me see. Ah, this one is perfect!

You: Oh yes, perfect! I don’t know what I’d do without you. By the way, what will you wear? I think that blue dress looks lovely on you, plus it will match with my tie.

Her: Awwww, that’s right! We will match ^_^

There you have it. Problem solved. You are welcome.

8) Listen to your wife.

9) I understand that guys suffer from innate dementia, but at least try to remember her birthday, your wedding day, the day you met and the day you first messaged her on Facebook.

FOR THE GIRLS:

1) Guys don’t think on what they say when they are hungry, so if your husband says something that bothered you, don’t take it to heart because he did not mean that.

2) Men are capable of sitting down, think on nothing and do nothing; so don’t worry, they are not in comma.

3) DON’T mess with his toolbox.

4) Here is how to get your husband to fix that wobbly chair in the dining room: go to his beloved toolbox and try to fix it yourself. In a couple seconds, you will see him come running to your rescue–more like to the rescue of his tools 😛 But no, really; guys like to feel useful, so let him do it, and then go make him some lemonade.

5) Guys nature is to fix things, including you. So, don’t get mad when he tries to fix your problems and emotions. He’s just trying to help.

6) NEVER give a command to your husband because he will plop down in the couch and do nothing. The last thing a man wants is to feel manipulated. So just ask him to help you because you need him. He will listen to you. 🙂

7) Most of the times, your husband will not tell you that he is bringing his friends or visitors over, so always have something fast to cook.

8) You know, your man might forget your birthday, or the day and hour when you first met, but rest assured that he will NEVER FORGET that he loves you. So if he forgets, don’t hold it against him.

9) In my experience with men, aka my Dad and brother lol, they don’t distinguish things. The whole idea of lotions, perfumes and body mists are junk to them. For them, all you need is water, a bar of Irish Spring soap and deodorant. Therefore, keep your products out of your husbands reach before he uses your face wash as degreaser, your body mists as bathroom air fresheners and your lotion as shaving cream. 😉

10) When it comes to getting sick, men are pros at that. So don’t worry so much when he has a sore throat, but he keeps acting like if they slipping away.

the-white-o-morn-cottage-hand-painted-tiles2

 

I Can’t Believe It, But I Said YES!

Standard

I’m so excited about today! How do they say it? Hmmm, over the moon and stars happy? Lol! Yeah, that can describe it.

I’m happy that you and I have made it to the engagement phase!! Yeah, so I’ll be expecting my wedding invitation. And I also hope to say a few words at your wedding.

But here is the bad news: I know nothing about being engaged, so it seems you are on your own on this one.

Hahaha! JK! 😛 I still have things to say, so sit down, be quiet and keep reading.

ENGAGEMENT 

So, let me begin by saying that I imagine being engaged is just pure happiness. ❤ Having all those beautifully mixed emotions as you look at the man/woman who will very soon be your husband/wife. 🙂

Here are some things to keep in mind all the time:

1 Self-Control

tumblr_lc50ejgzwe1qaae2ho1_500

Sure, you are now engaged, and may have more physical privileges like hugging, kisses in the cheek or forehead, or holding hands; but respect each other and abide by the rules that you both have put up in order to protect each others thoughts and purity.

2 Pray Together

download

This is something that should be practiced during courtship and marriage. I just think that praying along with the person that you love is just priceless.

3 Communicate

images-1

Listen up guys! There is nothing more frustrating to us girls than to have a man who has a mouth, but does not communicate with us; and yet they expect to hear every little detail from us. Sure, we get to the bottom of things, and we probably already know things, but we always want to hear it from YOU.

4 Little Things Matter

You really don’t have to get us this huge overly expensive gift. For us girls, and guys too I think, sincere gifts from the heart are the ones that matter.

5 Visit!

Visit her family more often. Her/his family will very soon be yours, so they better like you or else you are doomed. No pressure! 😛 haha!

6 Be Yourself 

I know I just mentioned this now, but it is very important in the friends and courtship stage as well. Don’t give him/her a different image of who you are. If you cannot be yourself with this person, why are you going to marry them?? Later in married life, you will get tired of pretending, and what if he/she does not like the real  you?

7 Honesty

images-2

Listen girls, this one is for you. Look, if your boyfriend can tell you to your face that your hair looks scary,and that those shoes make you look like a cat with a thorn on its paw, then he’s a keeper! You both have to be so comfortable with telling each other the truth straight on.

8 Trust

All through the friends and courtship stage, you have seen how amazing and trustworthy this person is. So in the engagement stage, all this will only be confirmed and reinforced. You will trust him/her to be faithful and loyal to you. And listen, when you truly love someone, a million models can coming knocking on your door, but you will only have eyes for your man/lady.

9 Keep Your Mouth Shut 

images

This goes both to guys and girls, okay. Learn to keep secrets. If your man/girl confides in you something, there is no need for it to be heard all the way to the North Pole.

10 Boiling Water

And finally, do you know how to boil water in order to make tea or soup?

There is nothing worse than eating a cold peanut butter and jelly sandwich when you are sick. Unless, of course, it’s summer…then yes, that PB&J  would be nice. 😛 Lol! 

FYI This is how boiling water looks like 😛

download-1

 

 

 

Christian Dating 101

Standard

Friday, September 16, 2016

Advisory: Eligibility for Marriage Undergraduate Class. 

Prerequisite: Completion of Home Duties 101 and/or concurrent enrollment in Responsibility Course 102.

Age Requirement: 20 years or older

*Absolutely no crashing allowed in this class.

Student Learning Outcome (SLO)

  • Guarding of heart and feelings
  • Dangers of physical contact

Welcome to Christian Dating 101. My name is Professor Heidi Alonso, so let’s get started. Remember that there is no such thing as a dumb question here, so please ask away.

Let’s begin with the logics. What is dating? What is courtship? Any ideas?

Well, dating happens when one person goes out with several people in hopes of finding that one special person. And as you might well be aware of–because most of you have done it–many just date for fun. They don’t care if they play with people’s feelings, because they are not serious.

Now courting. What is the difference of it? Here is the definition given by J.D.

“Courting is the sincere effort of two persons who are finding if it is God’s will for them to be married.”

So yes, of course, courtship is one step closer to marriage. So you will obviously enter into a courtship with a wedding in mind. That is the whole purpose. And now, if you followed all the previous steps prior to this class, then there is a pretty good chance that the person you are courting ( or will court) will be your future spouse. Of course, it might not always work out. That is why you should guard your heart.

And what do I mean by that?

I mean that you should not give pieces of your heart away to just anyone. Don’t go around saying you love such said person out of emotion or mere impulse, because you will regret it later. As time passes, you will realize that you did not really love that person, or you will see that that person was not for you, and you will wish to turn back time in order to recover those words you told them.

And consider this: Wouldn’t it be so special to share those words for the first time with the person who will be your spouse?

Another point that I want to bring out, is the age requirement in order to even enter a courtship. As a rule of thumb, if you are still in your teens, you should be focusing on solving your algebra homework and feeding your pet fish instead of trying to enter this class.

As for you, my dear students in your twenties, please be careful when thinking to enter in a relationship with teenager students in the elementary classes. Teenagers do not really know who they are, or even what they want, because they change their mind so very often. One day they might wake up and decide they want to be a firefighter, but then later on they will announce they will be a brain surgeon.

Take me for example. In my teenage years, I was going back and forth between being a cook, a writer, a poet and songwriter. All survived except for poetry. Let me come up with something so you can see why I kissed poetry bye-bye.

The sky is so blue

Don’t you think so too?

Is it not nice,

To look at the sky

While eating a plate of rice?

You see what I mean? Like they say, I cannot write poetry to save my soul. But you get what I mean, right? You realize that if you court at such young age, or if you decide to court another young person, then your relationship will be ruined because of your/their immaturity. Either you, or that person, will still be figuring out who they are or what they want, and then later they will decide they don’t like you any more because you have green eyes or because of your personality. Bottom line is that you or they will keep changing their minds because at that stage, both of you are still developing emotionally.

To conclude, let’s talk about…yup, the physical stuff like kissing, touching and hugging.

Let’s start with the 00:00:05 second rule. 

Okay, get out your paper and pencils, write this down and frame it on your bedroom because it will be on the final test: I will not touch anybody for more than 5 seconds.

You got it? Good! You are such great students! I’m so proud of you. 😀

Okay, moving on.

Why should you not touch people? Well, first off, they don’t belong to you, and unless you have the key of marriage, you won’t be able to get them out the glass box they are in. Of course, I am not saying that kissing, touching or hugging is wrong. Not at all. It is wrong when you do that before marriage, because then it will lead to other things which you will later regret.

But that does not mean that if you are in an official courtship you can’t hug or hold hands. You understand that when you court, you are almost sure you are going to marry the person. And therefore, not court willy nilly. The physical contact is really up to the couple to decide, and they should put their physical boundaries. This might differ from couple to couple, since some individuals might need more restraint than others. However, it is scientifically proven how kissing affects the relationship. It is definitely a blessing within the circle of marriage, but outside of marriage it will affect both, or one of the parties involved in case the relationship does not work. Therefore, causing the breakup to be more painful since there will be physical and emotional losses involved.

So to end, please jot down these questions in your notebook for this class and turn them in for homework next time.

Wouldn’t it be special to share your first kiss with your husband/wife?

Do you think it will be nice to save all your love for your spouse?

Is it not purity the best and most beautiful gift you can give to your future spouse?

Okay, don’t forget to review for the upcoming test.

Class dismissed.