“Lord, I Love Him. Why Can’t I Have Him?”

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“Lord, you know I really love him. I believe he is the one. Why can’t I have him??”

“But Dad/Mom, what’s so wrong with him? I’m happy with him. Doesn’t my happiness matter to you guys anymore?” 

“Why is it that the guy I really like is exactly the one that seems impossible to have?” 

Sound familiar? 

Maybe you have heard some young people say this, or…yourself? 

Well, I got the idea for this topic the other day when I was talking to a good friend of mine. We were sharing our views on choice making, relationships, and on how many times we misinterpret God.

…yes, it is possible to misinterpret God. For example, take a look at this scenario: 

Let’s suppose you like this guy, or girl, so much. But here’s the deal: your parents don’t approve at all. And somewhere in the back of your head, you know God would not approve either. But being the amazingly stubborn person that you are, you still go to God and beg and complain. It then happens that God gets fed up, and so He says, “Okay. Fine. You can have him/her.” And then you are like, “Oh my goodness! God answered my prayer! I knew this guy was the one!” But the truth is that God is giving you what you want not because it is His will, but because you will only learn by suffering the consequences. 

Listen, when it comes to relationships, making life choices and pretty much everything, you NEED to come to God with a clean bowl. Don’t bring your choice of flour or oil. Just bring your clean bowl and allow God to give you the ingredients and utensils to make the perfect cake. 🎂 

“Trust in the lord with all thine heart,

And lean not to thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge Him,

And He shall direct thy paths.” 

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He/She Broke My Heart

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Heartbroken…

Just how does one avoid being heartbroken?

Well, for starters, if we hear counsel, then we would not be in this jumble of problems in the first place. I know that if you hear counsel, then you will avoid yourself many heartaches—believe me. Your parents are right 99% of the time. And I say 99% because your parents can be wrong about a person too. There are some guys who just seem like saints come down from heaven, but then as time goes on, you and parents really get to see who this Mr. Too-Good-To-Be-True really is; or Miss Too-Good-To-Be-True.

But well, the heartbreak is there now. And you feel like all your world has crashed beneath your feet. Your dreams hold no significance anymore, you try to find a reason to get up from bed, and you literally feel like you are in a place where you don’t know where to go or what to do.

You feel lost without this person in your life.

Well, first thing you have to do is stop thinking about all this hurt. What happened already happened, and it’s past. There is nothing more cruel that you can do to yourself, than to continue living in the past. Leave the past alone, pick up your dreams and look to the future. Why will you drown all your hopes and dreams, all because of a person who did not deserve your love?

Another thing to keep in mind is this: do not go publishing your hurt in Facebook. That will only spark a chain reaction of “oh! So sorry to hear that! 😥 .” And all that will do, is put you down. But in order to avoid that, you should not have made your relationship public in Facebook in the first place. As a rule of thumb, I recommend that you not publish anything until your relationship is like SUPER serious. It’s going to hurt you so much to delete all those pictures in Facebook and…you can imagine.

Also, try to help others; don’t go into a reclusive life in order to mourn your misfortune. As you help others, and make others happy, you will find that your heart will heal. Slowly, that smile will come back to your face, and you will realize that you were put on this world for a very special purpose.

You can also take up a hobby to keep you busy. But please don’t go crazy and decide that skydiving is the best way to forget your troubles.

And well, even after all the tips I have given you, the only person who can really heal your heart is God. As your relationship grows stronger with God, you will see in clear light why that relationship failed, and why you had to go through it. You will realize that the heartbreak will only make you stronger and wiser. The next time another guy/girl comes knocking on your door, you will not so easily fall for their charm.

Just remember this: YOU ARE SPECIAL, and the person that is meant for you is somewhere around there, and he/she will come at the right moment. Don’t accept the first guy/girl that shows interest in you. Of course, there is a possibility that that person might be the right one, but what I’m trying to say is that you SHOULD NOT ENTER A RELATIONSHIP just because you FEEL LONELY.

Your heart will heal. Trust me, it will—slowly but surely.

itm_you-are-special-fb-timeline-covers2014-02-20_09-03-24_1  P.S.

This article was written in response to a request I received from one of my readers in India. This person asked my opinion on how to deal with heartbreak, and so I thought it was a great idea to share this with all of you. 🙂  

Once Upon a Time…Happily Ever After

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Funny how a newlywed will tell you that marriage is amazing and beautiful, and then a couple years later, that selfsame person will beg you to really think before getting involved with a guy.

It has happened to me. Lol!

Truth is that marriage takes work. It will not always be roses and kisses. But working together as a team, supporting and loving each other, and seeking God first– well, it’s going to work out nicely.

So, just to make your life easier, here are some things to keep in mind:

FOR THE GUYS:

1 If the tube of toothpaste has a cap, USE IT. Hardened and dry toothpaste is not cool to use.

2) Put the toilet seat back down after you use it. If your wife falls in the toilet in the night, there is a 99.9% chance that you will be sleeping in the couch for the rest of the night, or nights.

3) NEVER set foot on her wet clean floor. Don’t dirty the floor she just scrubbed, that is if you don’t want to scrub it again, but this time with a toothbrush 😛 Lol!

4) Clean up those pesky little hairs after you shave. It’s annoying when the white bar of soap looks as if it has black sprinkles on it, or brown or blonde. Take your pick. 

5) ALWAYS let your wife know if you are bringing friends or visitors home, that way she has time to cook something. Serving peanut butter and jelly sandwiches is not exactly what we ladies have in mind.

6) When girls are on their monthly cycle, we can be sad, mad, happy, nostalgic and emotional all in the span of one hour. Plus we have to deal with pain and whatnot. So DON’T BE A COWARD and leave your wife alone. Be nice to her. Make her some hot tea and cuddle with her. ❤

7) Most girls take long to get ready. It’s hard for us to decide what to wear, and hairstyle to do; so instead of hollering to your wife at the top of your lungs for her to hurry up, do this the night/day before:

You: Hey sweetheart, do you think the yellow tie goes with this?

Her: White shirt, black pants and yellow tie? Honey, are you tying to go for the bumblebee look?

You: *laughing* What do you suggest then?

Her: Hmmm…let me see. Ah, this one is perfect!

You: Oh yes, perfect! I don’t know what I’d do without you. By the way, what will you wear? I think that blue dress looks lovely on you, plus it will match with my tie.

Her: Awwww, that’s right! We will match ^_^

There you have it. Problem solved. You are welcome.

8) Listen to your wife.

9) I understand that guys suffer from innate dementia, but at least try to remember her birthday, your wedding day, the day you met and the day you first messaged her on Facebook.

FOR THE GIRLS:

1) Guys don’t think on what they say when they are hungry, so if your husband says something that bothered you, don’t take it to heart because he did not mean that.

2) Men are capable of sitting down, think on nothing and do nothing; so don’t worry, they are not in comma.

3) DON’T mess with his toolbox.

4) Here is how to get your husband to fix that wobbly chair in the dining room: go to his beloved toolbox and try to fix it yourself. In a couple seconds, you will see him come running to your rescue–more like to the rescue of his tools 😛 But no, really; guys like to feel useful, so let him do it, and then go make him some lemonade.

5) Guys nature is to fix things, including you. So, don’t get mad when he tries to fix your problems and emotions. He’s just trying to help.

6) NEVER give a command to your husband because he will plop down in the couch and do nothing. The last thing a man wants is to feel manipulated. So just ask him to help you because you need him. He will listen to you. 🙂

7) Most of the times, your husband will not tell you that he is bringing his friends or visitors over, so always have something fast to cook.

8) You know, your man might forget your birthday, or the day and hour when you first met, but rest assured that he will NEVER FORGET that he loves you. So if he forgets, don’t hold it against him.

9) In my experience with men, aka my Dad and brother lol, they don’t distinguish things. The whole idea of lotions, perfumes and body mists are junk to them. For them, all you need is water, a bar of Irish Spring soap and deodorant. Therefore, keep your products out of your husbands reach before he uses your face wash as degreaser, your body mists as bathroom air fresheners and your lotion as shaving cream. 😉

10) When it comes to getting sick, men are pros at that. So don’t worry so much when he has a sore throat, but he keeps acting like if they slipping away.

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