My Therapy Sessions/Mis Sesiones de Terapia

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Hey 👋🏻 you guys! 

So…here’s more of my diary. If you read your name here, it is my diary, so there nothing you can do 😜😂 

Lol! Jk I am protective of people’s identity, don’t worry. 

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Christian Dating 101

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Friday, September 16, 2016

Advisory: Eligibility for Marriage Undergraduate Class. 

Prerequisite: Completion of Home Duties 101 and/or concurrent enrollment in Responsibility Course 102.

Age Requirement: 20 years or older

*Absolutely no crashing allowed in this class.

Student Learning Outcome (SLO)

  • Guarding of heart and feelings
  • Dangers of physical contact

Welcome to Christian Dating 101. My name is Professor Heidi Alonso, so let’s get started. Remember that there is no such thing as a dumb question here, so please ask away.

Let’s begin with the logics. What is dating? What is courtship? Any ideas?

Well, dating happens when one person goes out with several people in hopes of finding that one special person. And as you might well be aware of–because most of you have done it–many just date for fun. They don’t care if they play with people’s feelings, because they are not serious.

Now courting. What is the difference of it? Here is the definition given by J.D.

“Courting is the sincere effort of two persons who are finding if it is God’s will for them to be married.”

So yes, of course, courtship is one step closer to marriage. So you will obviously enter into a courtship with a wedding in mind. That is the whole purpose. And now, if you followed all the previous steps prior to this class, then there is a pretty good chance that the person you are courting ( or will court) will be your future spouse. Of course, it might not always work out. That is why you should guard your heart.

And what do I mean by that?

I mean that you should not give pieces of your heart away to just anyone. Don’t go around saying you love such said person out of emotion or mere impulse, because you will regret it later. As time passes, you will realize that you did not really love that person, or you will see that that person was not for you, and you will wish to turn back time in order to recover those words you told them.

And consider this: Wouldn’t it be so special to share those words for the first time with the person who will be your spouse?

Another point that I want to bring out, is the age requirement in order to even enter a courtship. As a rule of thumb, if you are still in your teens, you should be focusing on solving your algebra homework and feeding your pet fish instead of trying to enter this class.

As for you, my dear students in your twenties, please be careful when thinking to enter in a relationship with teenager students in the elementary classes. Teenagers do not really know who they are, or even what they want, because they change their mind so very often. One day they might wake up and decide they want to be a firefighter, but then later on they will announce they will be a brain surgeon.

Take me for example. In my teenage years, I was going back and forth between being a cook, a writer, a poet and songwriter. All survived except for poetry. Let me come up with something so you can see why I kissed poetry bye-bye.

The sky is so blue

Don’t you think so too?

Is it not nice,

To look at the sky

While eating a plate of rice?

You see what I mean? Like they say, I cannot write poetry to save my soul. But you get what I mean, right? You realize that if you court at such young age, or if you decide to court another young person, then your relationship will be ruined because of your/their immaturity. Either you, or that person, will still be figuring out who they are or what they want, and then later they will decide they don’t like you any more because you have green eyes or because of your personality. Bottom line is that you or they will keep changing their minds because at that stage, both of you are still developing emotionally.

To conclude, let’s talk about…yup, the physical stuff like kissing, touching and hugging.

Let’s start with the 00:00:05 second rule. 

Okay, get out your paper and pencils, write this down and frame it on your bedroom because it will be on the final test: I will not touch anybody for more than 5 seconds.

You got it? Good! You are such great students! I’m so proud of you. 😀

Okay, moving on.

Why should you not touch people? Well, first off, they don’t belong to you, and unless you have the key of marriage, you won’t be able to get them out the glass box they are in. Of course, I am not saying that kissing, touching or hugging is wrong. Not at all. It is wrong when you do that before marriage, because then it will lead to other things which you will later regret.

But that does not mean that if you are in an official courtship you can’t hug or hold hands. You understand that when you court, you are almost sure you are going to marry the person. And therefore, not court willy nilly. The physical contact is really up to the couple to decide, and they should put their physical boundaries. This might differ from couple to couple, since some individuals might need more restraint than others. However, it is scientifically proven how kissing affects the relationship. It is definitely a blessing within the circle of marriage, but outside of marriage it will affect both, or one of the parties involved in case the relationship does not work. Therefore, causing the breakup to be more painful since there will be physical and emotional losses involved.

So to end, please jot down these questions in your notebook for this class and turn them in for homework next time.

Wouldn’t it be special to share your first kiss with your husband/wife?

Do you think it will be nice to save all your love for your spouse?

Is it not purity the best and most beautiful gift you can give to your future spouse?

Okay, don’t forget to review for the upcoming test.

Class dismissed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Think I Found The One!! :D

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Friday, September 9, 2016

Dear Diary,

So what do I do now? What do I do if I think I have found a man who can potentially put up with me for the rest of my life? Do I like say something? Or like give him a hint?

Okay, okay–let me clarify. Those questions are just an example of the questions girls might have. It does not mean that I have them now. I might later; ya’ never know. 😛 Lol! But well, leave me out of the picture for now; let’s talk about step #4.

STEP #4: Observe, Seek Counsel, Be Wise, Be Friends

A) OBSERVE

Hmmm…so what exactly do we look at? What do we observe? Face, eyes, smile? Ehhh…nope.

If you think you have found the right girl/guy, then you should be observing other things. Of course, physical attraction should be there, but it should not be your main focus. You have to dissect that persons behavior. I mean, this is a person who could potentially be your future spouse, so then of course you want to know who they really are, right?

  • How does this person behave?
  • How does she/he treat her/his parents?
  • Is she’he respectful?
  • Is she/he helpful without being asked?
  • How does she/he behave when her/his parents are not around? Does she/he behave differently?
  • How does she/he behave around the company of other young people?
  • How do they treat the opposite sex? Do they have self-respect?

Open your eyes and observe well without making your interest known to that person as of yet. That way, you will be able to see the true colors of the person you got your eyes on.

B) SEEK COUNSEL

Yes, unless you are some kind of super genius and mind-reader ( jk mind-reading does not exist), then you will need advice from someone who is not emotionally involved and hence, has a clear mind than you do at the present moment. Because later, you will be like, “Ohhhhhh, I see now!”

And so where do you get that counsel from?

  1. God and His word
  2. God-fearing parents
  3. Older men and women of experience

Tip: Visit the church of the person you are interested in. That way, you can see how that person interacts in their home church. 

Girls DON’T READ, this is ONLY for the guys eyes: I once listened to a sermon that was about courtship and all that cool stuff. And what this person said has truth to it. He was saying how you should seek counsel with the parents of the girl. Let your intentions be known to them because they deserve to know. You have to realize that the girl belongs to her parents, and if you go on trying to win her affections without their permission, wouldn’t that be considered stealing?

Something to think about, guys.

C) BE WISE

Be logical when it comes to these matters. Think ahead. You can think clearly now, when there are not too much emotional attachments from your part.

D) BE FRIENDS

If you cannot be friends now, then how will your marriage work if you do marry that person later on? Your future spouse should be your best friend, right? So I think it is very important to be friends at first, and get some answers to your questions.

  • Do you both get along well?
  • If you fight all the time, what makes you think that married life will be pure bliss?
  • How does this person react in different situations?
  • Can you both work as a team and enjoy yourselves?
  • Is there that connection between the two of you?
  • Do you feel at home in her/his social circle?
  • Do you enjoy being around her/his friends?

And well, those are some of the many questions to be asked. Now, let’s talk about Facebook and chatting, and all that stuff.

*drum roll*

Yeah, I know, I know…this is a very tricky and controversial subject to many people. Just how much is too much on social media? Does it matter how often you chat with a girl/guy?

Well, it’s obvious that if you chat every single day, then there is something going on.

Listen, everyone has their own interpretations on this matter of Facebook and chatting. But let me tell you this: Be careful that you don’t toy with peoples emotions and feelings. If you are not interested in someone, then don’t act as if you do.

Be careful. That is all I will say, the rest is up to you. 🙂

 

 

Where is My Prince Charming?

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Friday, September 2, 2016

Dear Diary,

You really want to know something? I don’t want a Prince Charming who will charm me. A prince whose lips drop as honey comb and whose mouth is smoother than oil; but then later on I will end up drinking wormwood tea instead of a sweet cup of chamomile.

So yeah, I do hope this Prince Charming never crosses my path.

Anyways, let’s talk a little more on this subject: on finding the right person, and not just Prince Charming.

STEP #3: Whom Shall I Marry?

Wow, okay, so now that you know that you are ready, you want to know who is going to put up with you for the rest of your living days.

So what do you ask next?

Where is my Prince Charming, and my tall-dark-and-handsome? Hmm, not exactly. The next question you should ask is this: who does God have for me?

And well, after all we have discussed so far, I hope that you have well grounded in your brain the fact that you cannot choose for yourself. Sure, the people will tell you to follow your heart, but on the other hand, God says that our heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. So, who will you follow, God or your wicked heart? Think about that.

And of course, there are other questions to consider. One of those many questions is this: Are you being the kind of person you are looking for? If you are looking for an honest person, are you honest? Are you a spiritual person?

You know, I once heard of a true story of a guy who had his dream girl all planned out. Time passed, and he did find her eventually. He told this girl about his feelings and how she was his perfect girl, but then the girl told him that he was not the perfect man for her.

Ouch! Poor guy! But it’s true, you know. Many times we get so caught up in daydreaming and planning our perfect person, that we forget about perfecting ourselves to the best we can for that person. Here is where true love is especially manifested in our willingness to change our defects of character, even if we don’t have the girl/guy, and even if we don’t even know who they are. Because I mean, if you are in love, you can easily promise to be saint #1.

But always remember that God will choose for you. Better said, you have to let God choose for you, because He will never force you.

Did Adam choose Eve? No.

Did Isaac choose his wife? No.

Did Samson choose his wife? Aha! Yes, he did. He said that Delilah pleased his eyes, and we all know what happened to his eyes later on. Don’t let that happen to you.

Many people just look at the physical part, but that should really be the last in your list. Character is the one to be focused on. This person you look for should complement you. You should have common interests and goals. Someone that you can work together with and enjoy it. Of course, you can’t find the same exact person as you, or else you will go crazy because if you both hate spiders, who will kill them for you? And if you are complete opposites, and hence have different tastes in music, then riding in the car with that person is going to be a pain in your ears.

I’m pretty sure that you can see that there needs to be a balance. And only God, along with your parents, can figure that out. God made you and He knows who will make you happy, and your parents know you more than you do yourself.

You also have to remember that your parents were given to you by God, and He will many times speaks to us through our god-fearing parents. And to end, I will give you the key that works pretty much for everything: PRAY WITHOUT CEASING.

Prayer does work, my friend. 🙂

 

 

How to Get Married In 7 Easy Steps

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Friday, August 19, 2016

Dear Diary,

Ya’ think it’s easy to get married?? Nope! Behold, my summarized version of step #1. 😉 

I am finding myself writing once again about relationships, courtship and marriage. It does feel a little weird, you know, writing about something better left for a married person to write or talk about. But here I am, 21 year old girl who thinks she is a genius on these matters.

Hehehe! No, no, no. I don’t think I am a genius at all, I was just kidding. All I am doing here is sharing all the counsel and advice my ears and eyes have soaked up so far. And well, I got inspired to write about this because I see that a lot of people need this advice; and I include myself as well.

You know, I have seen failed courtships, broken marriages; couples who are still together, but they lead miserable and depressing lives, single mothers–you name it! And I keep thinking to myself that maybe, through what I write, I can help someone out there. Even if it is one single person, I still want to make a difference in their life and help them.

So yeah, you need advice when it comes to these matters. I need advice. I have made my fair share of mistakes as well. I am no little saint. And I made these mistakes not because nobody counseled and advised me. I was thoroughly counseled, I just thought that my way had more sparkly flowers.

Okay, so lets get right on with the topic I want to touch on today. And yes, I know…I know, you might think that I am now sounding like your parents. Well, If I do sound like that, I am very happy; that just let’s me know I am on the right track with what I’m writing here 😉

STEP #1: Is God Calling You/Me to Marriage? 

Yes, that is the question that we should ask first. The first question to be asked is not with who, or when will I be married. We need to seek God’s will first and foremost. I mean, for all I know, God might want you to be a spinster–I mean single. There are several examples in the Bible of people who remained single. You got Paul, John the Baptist, Elijah, and even Jesus was not married.

Why were they not married? Does the Bible not say that we are to replenish the earth, and that a man should not be alone?

It was God’s plan for them not to be married. Simple as that. The apostle Paul even recommends that one remain single. But he also understood that not everyone has been called to a single life. And you can read this verse in 1 Corinthians 7:6-9

These great men that I have mentioned had such an amazing work to carry out. I believe that if they had married, they would not have been able to do that work properly. That is why before we marry, we have to ask ourselves if being married will increase our sphere of usefulness for the Lord. Or will we get married and then all of a sudden we don’t even want to go to prayer meeting because there are dishes to be washed?

God has a beautiful and unique plan for each and every one of us. It might be God’s will that you don’t marry just now. And that brings me to another question: Is it God’s will for you to be married NOW? God might want you to get married, but you might still need a good heavy dose of preparation. I mean, one can be 70 years old and not be ready for marriage. And yeah, that explains why there are so many divorces and separations nowadays.

So get on your knees and seek God’s will. Speak with God through prayer and work on building that relationship with Him before you begin any relationship with a human being. Ask of God His will and He will show you. Search His word, because that is the guidebook that will lead you and me in this life.

I know by experience that God will never send you away empty-handed if you seek him with a sincere heart.

50 Shades of Lies

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Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Dear Diary,

Has honesty decided to leave mankind and move to the  South Pole or something?

The other day, my brother and I were talking about this subject of honesty and its implications. We were looking at the different shades of lies there are to us humans, and how God views them all.

*sigh*

No, honesty has not left us. It is mankind that has decided to leave her.

Why are people not honest?

It makes me so sad to see people take honesty very lightly. Honesty is vital, right? It is like a block in the foundation of a good mature christian person. So yes, of course it is very important. If you by any chance are missing that one block, rest assured that nothing will work out for you because truth will eventually come to the surface no matter how many bricks and boulders you tie to its neck.

You see, there are 3 main colors of lies. Each of those three has its own respective sub-shades, but let me define the 3 main ones:

  1. WHITE: The famous white lie! It is the most lovely of them all because it is a combination of sympathy and a hint of deceptive enigma. People say them in order not make others feel bad. Take a look:

Person X: So…how was my casserole?! 😀 You know, I just ❤ to cook! I think I inherited my grandmother’s cooking genius.

Person (pi)aka the cumpulsive liar: Oh wow! This is…(hard swallow)…pretty…GOOD! Is that rosemary I taste? I so ❤ rosemary!

Person (pi) thinking: Oh my goodness, I so wish I had that disease where your taste buds don’t work! Ummmm…are there any dogs around here? Chickens? …Man, I wish I was in Brazil. Then I could pretend the casserole fell in the river and the piranhas devoured it. Oh wait, would they even like it??  

2. Gray: Yeah, you know that grey is not my color. It’s more on the evil side of things. You know, the selfish side. These lies you use to protect yourself, to get what you want, and at times even done in the name of God and with a “holy” purpose. Like in the story of Jacob when he deceived his father. Rebekah told Jacob to do so, that is because in her mind she was trying to help God so that His promise would be fulfilled. Yet, it was still a lie and he had to suffer the consequences, and boy were the consequences tough.

3. BLACK: Yeah, don’t get me started on this one. It’s quite clear that these lies are all in the highest level of evil and wicked. Compulsive liars would fit in this category as well.

…How do people even justify their dishonesty? Do they think that that was the right thing to do given the circumstances at the moment? And after the truth arises causing chaos and havoc, do they wish they were the anchor deep in the sea bed instead?

There might be many reasons, but the bottom line is that a lie is a lie, no matter what shade it is. Once that lie is told, you will have to work extra hard to regain that person’s trust again.

We should be Christlike, be tactful. We need to realize that honesty defines us, and it allows people know how reliable we are. And well–it also reveals our level of maturity.

We ought to speak truth and be wise. God can never bless a person or that person’s plans if they are living in dishonesty and are keeping truth from people who really deserve to know it. And like my Dad always says, we have to “be honest with ourselves and with God.” If a person follows this, then she/he will be able to be honest with everyone else on planet earth.

True, we have all sinned. The whole world…not a single righteous person. But the beauty of it all is that God still loves us, He will forgive us. Yet, He does give us a command: “Go and sin no more.”