Saturday, August 6, 2016
You know that I don’t write for the mere fun of seeing my words in print. I write because I am moved to help others. I know firsthand that there are a lot of people going through what I went through, and they deserve to know that they are not alone.
And well, that is why I am ready to speak about this. This is something I have kept to myself for so many years, but I am ready to share now. I know of people who are going through something very similar to what I went through, and I want to let them know that with God and their efforts combined they can certainly reach that goal they have so long dreamed of. Being secretive and taking wrong drastic measures to keep your educational life a secret will only hurt you more. Don’t be afraid. Speaking of it with the right people actually helps. 🙂
Okay, let’s get on with the story, shall we.
Everything began on December 15, 2008. I was 14 years old then, and my life changed drastically. My grandmother had a severe accident and it was on that day of December 15, that we found out she had suffered third degree burns and hence was taken to the hospital. We were told that she was not expected to live, and that hit me very hard. I could not focus on my school work, and my grades were terrible. And because of that I dropped out. I got more focused on helping my Mom in the house. She was a nervous wreck, and so I put aside school and I assumed the responsibility of running the household.
In time, my grandmother got better and she came home again. My life sort of got back to normal, and my thoughts went back to school. I found out about the CHSPE(California High School Proficiency Exam), and so my parents thought it was a good option. So I took it—and I failed. I took it the second time, and I failed again. Bottom line is that I sucked at math. I passed the English Language Arts and Reading Comprehension sections with flying colors. I passed those with grades above and beyond the required passing grade. Math was the one that I was not even near passing.
I was 17 years old when I found out I had not passed the second try of the CHSPE. I was devastated. I was very sad and agitated that my Mom even had to give me something to calm me down.
But well, my parents decided to put me in an online 4 year High School. I agreed because I knew it was the best option. It worked because I got to study at home and could help my Mom care for my grandmother.
But yet beneath all that, I was not happy. I was depressed. I don’t know if that is the correct word I’m looking for, but I cried, I would think of it non-stop: how could a 17 year old be in 9th grade? I imagined what my life would be like if I had graduated, I avoided conversations about school like the plague, and when my friends would talk about college I would just leave or pretend I found their conversation interesting. And don’t get me started when people would ask if I was in college already, and what I was studying. When people would ask me that, I wish I could have stuffed mashed potatoes in their mouths and run for my life. I was also afraid people would make fun of me because I was still in High School. And well, people never laughed at me per say, I was just paranoid about it.
Well, time passed and I grew up. I began to realize that I was wrong in feeling all this. One should not feel ashamed for learning. Many people in other countries would have wished they had the opportunity I had to learn. And when I realized that, my life took a turn for the better. If people would ask about my school life, I would tell them. And some people were actually very helpful. In this school (Connections Academy) I learned at my own pace, and I catched up in math. The teachers were very nice and helpful. I may not be the math wizard, but I know that 3! Means 3 times two, times one, and teachers don’t just put that because they are excited about the number 3. 😛 LOL!
Truth is I am better at math now. My brother went on to college and he sometimes even asked for my help on his math homework! How cool is that! 😀 Your older brother asking for math help! That’s really something. Hahaha!
And yes, I am here now. I finally graduated from High School!! Thanks to the Lord and my family who helped me every step of the way. I have learned that no matter what, finishing your basic education is important. And I will finish with this thought:
” Don’t be ashamed of where you are in the ladder, just make sure you keep going up.” Heidi Alonso
I want to extend an apology to all those people who I pretended to like their college conversation, and to those people who I wished I could have stuffed their mouths with mashed potatoes. I am so sorry. But hey, look at it on the bright side: I could really be a good actor, and well—who doesn’t love mashed potatoes! They are awesome! (y)