Driving Test and my Trauma

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Monday, April 11, 2016

Dear Diary,

*sigh* My driving story began long time ago. Back in the day when I was 17, my friends and my brother were all taking their written tests, and driving tests, and I was over here having different feelings. I was like well, all my friends are doing it so may be I should to, and well, no let’s wait, I don’t want to grow up so fast; take it easy people.

But then it happened. I saw an accident, and from that day on I was terrified of driving. That particular day, my family and I were eating our dinner when I heard the most horrific sound I had ever heard, and then the crash. We rushed outside, and the accident had taken place just like yards from our place! There were shards of glass everywhere, and I could see the man’s bleeding face and I believe he was unconscious. I did not dare go nearer because my legs were literally trembling. My brother was the one who was helping the man, along with another neighbor who was trying to pry open the smashed side door of the car. I saw the firefighters cutting the door out so the man could be put on the stretcher. I saw everything. The man who did not move, and looked so still…

I was traumatized. I really was. And yes, I’m finally admitting to this…

And then my Dad began to tell me I had to drive, and I just kept putting it off. At the beginning I was so scared to drive. My legs would tremble, and so would my hands. My mind would go like blank sometimes. For example, if I was going to change to the right lane, I would check my left mirror. How stupid is that? And my Dad would be like, “What did you just do???” And I would just laugh it off. I got good at that, I would laugh it away or just remain dead silent.

But thanks to God, my fear gradually went away. I realized that driving was not like Weeee! Look at me, I just got my license! Do you want to see it? And oh my goodness, my picture came out so good! No, driving is a need, not a luxury or thing to show off. Many times, my Dad had to stop working to take us places we needed to go, only because I could not drive.

So I was determined to drive with God’s help. I took the written test and passed. But I allowed it to expire, and so I had to take it again. And today I had my behind the wheel test. I cannot tell you you how nervous I was! Terrified. But I had special people encouraging me and just praying for me. Before my test, my Mom prayed with me and that just like calmed me down a great deal.

I went inside, got in line and in minutes the instructor came out with me. She was actually really nice. But still I needed to feel at ease somehow, so I struck up a conversation as we walked over to the car. And it helped! 🙂

And well, as the test began I was just like praying in my head all the time. And then when it was over, she was like, “Congratulations, you passed!”

I was like, “Can you repeat that please? Did you just say I passed? As in I get to have a license??”

I was so happy! I could jump and scream in joy. hahaha A friend of mine was like, “You should have screamed.” But no, security would probably haul me out or something, so I waited till I was alone in the bathroom. Lol!

But I am soooooooo thankful!

Thank You Lord!!! ❤

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!” 

w4

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